There’s an interesting tension here. We need some degree of performance to function socially, but when the performance becomes continuous, the self turns into a product. The exhaustion comes from never stepping off the stage.
I think it’s the acknowledgement that we are playing a role that can be so impactful. For example, if we can go into work and be like “Oh yup, we serious and professional today.” That allows us to loosen up a bit, and not lose track of the fact we are indeed performing, as you put it so well. Also, it allows that we can improve/ modify our character and the way our character performs, which sounds weird, and is a whole different route, but yeah. Buddhism explores that DEEPLY
How very true. I guess to some extent everyone performs for acceptance/ appreciation. That ought to be acceptable. But a great many seen to be obsessed with self-projectiion & social media has contributed to it in no small measure.
I completely agree with the essence of this piece. The phrase "the pornography of the self" captures our modern obsession so perfectly. When we are constantly curating, exposing, and endlessly analyzing our own identity, it is the ultimate expression of the metaphysical ego and will. It treats the self as an exhausting project to be managed and displayed, placing our own image right at the absolute center of the universe.
But this obsession makes us forget our fundamental thrownness. We are not just isolated brands or profiles; we are simply thrown into a world, a history, and a web of relationships we didn't choose. Those are our true limits.
When we approach our lives with a bit of existential humility, we can let go of the heavy need to constantly author and exhibit who we are. By just accepting our limits as mortals, we can finally look away from the mirror and let the world—and other people—surprise us with something beautiful and unexpected.
Very interesting ideas. That would explain how some people’s social battery runs out after being at bigger social gatherings while not having that problem with smaller circles.
I would add that some people are even afraid to leave this performance since their interior sense of identity would be destroyed and they are not brave enough to reconstruct themselves
What of those who write not for praise or any special motive,but to only try to make sense in an increasingly dense worldview. It pisses me off when everything has to have a motive. I do this only to get some clarity from all the murkiness I see everywhere in the social postings. Nuff said.
It is exhausting when you're analysing every action and every word of yours from an audience perspective. And I totally agree, we do need some degrees of performance to be acceptable socially but having at least two to three genuine connections in life makes it a lot easier!
Your points are valid, but the title is not. Conflating pornography with ceaseless self curation is undermining the issues in pornography and your thesis.
There’s an interesting tension here. We need some degree of performance to function socially, but when the performance becomes continuous, the self turns into a product. The exhaustion comes from never stepping off the stage.
I think it’s the acknowledgement that we are playing a role that can be so impactful. For example, if we can go into work and be like “Oh yup, we serious and professional today.” That allows us to loosen up a bit, and not lose track of the fact we are indeed performing, as you put it so well. Also, it allows that we can improve/ modify our character and the way our character performs, which sounds weird, and is a whole different route, but yeah. Buddhism explores that DEEPLY
How very true. I guess to some extent everyone performs for acceptance/ appreciation. That ought to be acceptable. But a great many seen to be obsessed with self-projectiion & social media has contributed to it in no small measure.
I completely agree with the essence of this piece. The phrase "the pornography of the self" captures our modern obsession so perfectly. When we are constantly curating, exposing, and endlessly analyzing our own identity, it is the ultimate expression of the metaphysical ego and will. It treats the self as an exhausting project to be managed and displayed, placing our own image right at the absolute center of the universe.
But this obsession makes us forget our fundamental thrownness. We are not just isolated brands or profiles; we are simply thrown into a world, a history, and a web of relationships we didn't choose. Those are our true limits.
When we approach our lives with a bit of existential humility, we can let go of the heavy need to constantly author and exhibit who we are. By just accepting our limits as mortals, we can finally look away from the mirror and let the world—and other people—surprise us with something beautiful and unexpected.
Very interesting ideas. That would explain how some people’s social battery runs out after being at bigger social gatherings while not having that problem with smaller circles.
I would add that some people are even afraid to leave this performance since their interior sense of identity would be destroyed and they are not brave enough to reconstruct themselves
What of those who write not for praise or any special motive,but to only try to make sense in an increasingly dense worldview. It pisses me off when everything has to have a motive. I do this only to get some clarity from all the murkiness I see everywhere in the social postings. Nuff said.
My favourite point here is the “tyranny of consistency.”
We do not fear being false so much as being seen to change.
Reloaded
Great. Goffman reloaden in times of social media.
It is exhausting when you're analysing every action and every word of yours from an audience perspective. And I totally agree, we do need some degrees of performance to be acceptable socially but having at least two to three genuine connections in life makes it a lot easier!
Your points are valid, but the title is not. Conflating pornography with ceaseless self curation is undermining the issues in pornography and your thesis.
So neurotypical people do understand masking.
Hey!! Give us a read if you get a minute!? Some Van life comedy and philosophy … https://substack.com/@toriandfergusgetlost/note/p-192606950?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=3lfpio